DAY ONE

My friend was right after all. Girls, you neva can actually trust 'em. I think sharing da past is the most crucial part of one's relation. Imagine what the relation can be when you cant share da past with her. Yeah its not dat every one is so called "secret-free", i had my share of the dark things but i thought, hey, if cz important and i hab to spend da rest of my life with her then why not . i least tried my best. Its hard but its worth trying becuz if it help us then why not do it.

I spent da whole night waiting c'd call. it wz around 3 am or so dat my 4n rang. I tried to console my self not to get soo emo- or wateva but with words comes emotions and with emotions, the tears and then u looze it all. How can c be so indifferent? It felt c was impossible. I always felt that past was smthn dat u should neva try to dig up. But when da very roots of those gone moments affects her present, how she is and what her characters are then it is bound to create an outburst of emotions and overflow of uncertainity..

As expected,c hung up. And there i lay, soaked and wet in da pool of tears, wondering what to do next and ever so scared of what is left to come tomorrow. The coming morning rays frightened me, and the chirping of the robin made it impossible for me to think straight because the once sweet songs they singed now sounded spookey and hollow. and yet still there was hope and with the emotions and anger slowly fading away, like always, i lost once again and that to at a price. The price being never-ever getting to share those emotions. And they still stay haunting me from the guilt and anger and lastly the fear of loosing her!!!!